My mum has been given a Wii for her birthday. Although the family is precisely 5 year behind the rest of the world, they are determined to make up for it in communal mii-building sessions, lots of bowling and other dangerous activities that are going to result in the loss of life and ornament. Suddenly there has been a transformation from sedate tea-sippers watching NCIS to a bunch of vicious arm-waving competitive loons with eyes on the prize. Except there isn't one.

This is all bad news for the family television. Mainly with regard to my watching it. Like one of those string-backed fast-forwarded shots of some suitably-twee bit of British countryside you see on building society adverts, with the clouds speeding by and the lights going up and down, up and down - this is how I see the world of television passing relentlessly by in my absence. For a while now I have been recording things onto a hard drive for later viewing. Little did I know that 'later viewing' now means 'when I'm 43'.

I'm planning a move to from GMT to Pacific Time Zone - it's the only way I'll be able to keep up with the world.