24-hour political party people.

OK, so it wasn't as dull as I was getting worried about. So it wasn't really that dull, considering they were talking about excessively boring matters of domestic policy like the NHS and Afghanistan. And yes, the Liberal Democrats might have turned an electoral corner by getting unprecedented coverage of a big event. But I'm already over it.

The profundity of such big occasions of state is vastly undermined when it's followed by a plonking great talent show premiere with idiocy of such magnitude that if you mixed it with ice water it would rise up five miles into the sky and take out most of Europe. Cough. It's not only that the headlines write themselves (and Gordon Brown does look a little bit like Susan Boyle - and the Scot did come a close second in a much-hyped finale, but the PM's less the underdog and more the dog waiting in the vets to be put down. And he's going to come third at this rate), but it shows up the shallows of showbiz. One evening you have statesmen squeezing pages of manifesto thought - which is in itself the nicely packaged version of hundreds of hours of policy wonkery and discussion - into 90-second soundbites, and then the next evening you have a dog doing ballet. It just doesn't compute.

We're a nation of people with that thing with the hyperactivity and the attention span stuff, I forget what...but one man's up, one man's down, a sneer here, a dodgy tie there - politics is cut-throat, and it gets even worse when politicians jump into bed with 24-hour news, the internet, fancy debates and huge launches. They can't fly around in their private jets at the moment, but they do have their huge battle buses. It's all been stolen from the West Wing, I'm sure - what's odd is that we have three grown men playing at being statesmanlike for the cameras rather than actually being statesmanlike. How would Churchill have managed a Paxman interview, or how would Lloyd-George have coped with a live telly debate? I find it odd that these people even got elected, how on earth did people make their minds up?

I think in 2010 I'm going to need a big band week during the election campaign to really help me make up my mind...