Some thoughts on stomach problems.

You know how something can give you The Shits? You know, like - I had this dodgy beef thing at the Chinese the other day, it really gave me the shits. Don't touch the prawns, they'll give you the shits.

Does it always have to have the? Like it's the Congo, or the Midlands, or the Pope. I just find it odd. Specific shits, not non-specific shits.

Why can't you come down with non-specific shits? Man, that last coffee, it gave me such shits.

It just doesn't quite work. I suppose the reference is more towards an action, than any particlar kinds of faecal matter that might be contained in your bowels as a direct result of any specific action. Can you have two different types in there? I wouldn't even know, I'm not a bum-biologist or whoever deals with these things. The shits is more of an adverb, perhaps? Or a verbial noun of uncomfortable pooing, maybe.

I'm determined to get to the bottom of all this, as it were. And if India didn't have to cancel those the Commonwealth Games, then we can make this happen. Truly.