Weather warning.

Panic stations everyone - because there is weather coming. Nothing stops for the weather, except everything.

The weather is the biggest scourge humanity has ever had to face because it is cold and wet and fierce and dumps lots of mud on top of the homes of nice middle-class families. Nobody is safe. Well, except this guy. He's safe until he sells his house.

I wanted my dad to put a nuclear bunker in when he was doing the front garden, but he said he didn't have enough concrete. Excuses, eh? Let's just say that if I die because for some unsaintly reason Coventry is the bizarre target of a rogue terrorist nuclear attack then I won't be happy.

If that man, with such a fear of being incinerated alive so quickly he won't know what's happened to him, if he can get out of the bed in the morning and sell his house and have his picture taken looking like that, then more power to him. What fears do the world hold for men so bold as this?

All there's going to be is hardly any snow in a minuscule part of Scotland anyway. I'll just put a bigger coat on.