I see z(-list) people.

I find myself getting upset because I never see famous people on the underground. Every time my mum goes anywhere she always sees famous people. Maybe this is like that thing with that kid Halley's Comet Osment and that bald film star Bryce Willis Howard. Now I think that I don't want to be able to see famous people.

But really, I'd love to catch a glimpse of a passing fad in the flesh and make homage to a conceited, shallow celebrity-worshipping culture, to pay my respects at the altar of pointless idolatry. Also, I get really bored.

The tube is terribly boring, there's only so much amusement to be had from reading the adverts and playing spot the terrorist, or staring down at an ageing dame's bald spot and flinching at the hairs emanating from the wizened ears of a once-great businessman.

Perhaps famous people just don't get the tube, it isn't the done thing...