I extend my life by three years.

There was a thing on the radio the other morning about some university somewhere publicising its research that said a mere 15 minutes of exercise a day would mean you live three years longer.

But 15 minutes a day? That's quite a commitment out of the incredibly busy schedule of someone sexy and successful like me. I'm not sure even sure the return is all that great. Say that I live to the age of 75 (probably optimistic, I'm a terrible driver) that's an entire six months of my life gone just on exercise. That works out at 15 minutes a day for the rest of my life, I worked it out.

And all that effort for three extra years of life? Well, two and a half technically. I'd rather have the time now - say I could exercise for 15 minutes every day and then just sit down for an hour and a quarter. That would be much better. Who wants all that extra free time at a hypothetical point in the distant future when you may or may not be in a position to enjoy it?

And then we get on to other means of prolonging my pitiful existence - could taking a vitamin tablet every morning extend my life by a significant amount (investment: 10 seconds a day), or perhaps ditching coffee (saving: 15 minutes a day), or maybe even drinking an extra glass of water would keep my greasy innards in tip-top condition (investment: 30 seconds a day).

What surely won't help my life span is blogging (investment: three minutes a day). I should probably go now, my life depends on it.