We British are a febrile bunch – one moment working ourselves up into a lather over the incessant rain, the next moment panting hopelessly as the sun beats down on our leathery, wizened pink foreheads. Now we’re sorry, though, as winter beats its sadistic way to our doors, killing all the flowers on its way up the garden path.
As the rain patters against the window and I put off running outside to the car to go home, I find myself chuckling at the news item this morning which said that the south of England would be stuck in a drought until the middle of next year. I’ve never understood this drought business – I’ve not used a hosepipe in years, and as long as water continues to flow out of the tap and I can enjoy ridiculously long showers (it’s where I do all my thinking) then there’s not a problem.
You don’t really worry about things you can’t see, like internal organs, your bank account, or Africa. Perhaps it’s simply easier to worry about stupid things like the weather, a shallow concern, just touching base with the fact that you’re just about still human. I have gradually become at one with the realisation that I am not much of a human being – I don’t really care about my bank account, Africa or the weather.
I lie. I am worried I’ll get wet if I go out to the car just now.
2 hours ago
Witnessing the whining of the Water Board is one of my favourite pastimes. They don't know whether they charge us for the water itself or for its supply and delivery. If it's the water itself then who gave them ownership of it as it falls everywhere from the sky, if it's the infrastructure of delivery we're paying for then how dare they be interested in how much goes through those pipes? But if they own the water and there's a drought and everyone dies of human desiccation-fever then they are legally culpable for failing to ensure meteorological co-operation... but if it's just the pipes they charge for and there's nothing to come out of them then how come they can enforce rationing or turn supplies off for "droughts" when they don't own the H2O and dry but otherwise functional taps should be none of their toe-jam? Oh, the logic makes their little heads boil.
ReplyDeleteWait until H.M. Government gives the franchise for Atmospheric Supplies on a minimum bid basis to some Franch-Argentinian Conglomerate...
What fun awaits us then?
The important thing is that we the peasants be made to pay as much as we possibly can be made to pay and bugger the logic of why or for what.
Harrumph. Exits stage left with a sink plunger, a rolled-up umbrolly and list of sitting MPs.