Ed 4 PM, eurgh.

People keep saying that Ed Miliband could be prime minister. I hate the thought of Ed Miliband being prime minister. Whatever happened to his nice brother David? He would have been great.

I hate the idea of any race winner being the guy that everyone went for because they didn’t want that other guy, especially the race to become prime minister. It should be something you have to fight for and earn the right to become, not simply lapse whining into after several years because enough people got annoyed at the bloke in number 10.

It’s distressing. Not least because Miliband has said nothing of weight, or profundity or even much of interest since he took over the leadership last month. No wait, he’s been doing it for nearly two years. Good grief. I’m sure he’s a nice man, but he has the people skills of a drinks vending machine and slightly less charisma.

He’s the sort of person, if you were talking to him at a party you would try and drag someone else into the conversation so that you could count to 30 in your head and then pretend to go to the toilet or say that you had to go and get another drink. You would say “I’ll be right back, I’m just off [mumble]…” but you would never be back. That’s definitely not the sort of person you would want to be running the country.